Good Evening
this picture is the trail across the grand canyon when you head out of the south rim main lodge area and intend to go to the river, or if you are an idiot like me, and you plan on hiking across the canyon to the north side. its a trail, its a path, it takes you somewhere. so does life... sometimes we get 'there' - sometimes we don't ... some get there with aplomb some... don't. p.s., the hike across the canyon was great, and wonderful, and a time to reflect.
my office is in beverly hills, i live in weho(west hollywood)... i love the area, but i observe every day how some folks don't 'get there' with aplomb, with dignity, with grace. i eat in CPK or ChinChin on south beverly drive in BH every day and watch the patrons. many give new meaning to the phrase Narcissist. the two restaurant companies find that if you can handle the BH patrons, you can handle any other of their locations. mostly arrogant self centered egotistical with super egos but small real egos... watching how the staff takes care of them too gets to be a kick, some handle them well, some let their own egos get in the way.
yesterday there was a dad who sat at the counter with his two kids, 11/12 ish. wow. they were polite to him, to the server, and they were nice to each other! a bro and sis, who shared small talk, offered each other some of the food, put an arm around dad once in awhile. no fights, no ego, no tantrums. even martin the server mentioned their manners. not a bad thing. i made a point of telling them they did a nice job, a positive reflection on dad and mom.
this was a nice contrast to the 11 yr old who stormed in one day, his mother was standing at the take out counter awaiting her order, Jr stormed in, put his hands on his hips and aggressively said to mother, "the parking Nazi's are out by the car, do you want me to give them a piece of my mind mother, or do you want to come out and do it?"... she was parked in the red zone, of course, holding up traffic, but... 'do you want me to give them a piece of my mind... ', not, 'mother, you need to move the car its blocking traffic'... of course, the kid knew 'red zones' were for mother to park in! and later for you Jr. when you are old enuff to drive. conditioning, training... this kid learned one way to live, and the kids above learned another... damn, ill bet the two kids in the last paragraph might have even heard mom say nice things about dad, and dad say nice things about mom, and maybe even marriage... or even something like, 'i love you kids, its great to have you', 'someday you'll have your own kids and enjoy them too', 'your mom is a great gal', 'im happy you were born'. while, parking nazi Jr. prolly has heard that 'marriage is like prison', 'your deadbeat dad is an idiot', 'kid, trust no one, everyone is out to get everyone'...
living life gracefully can be done... princess diana did it even with the amounts of money and beauty she had to deal with, she still was down to earth and appeared real... rosa parks did it, with humility, humbleness and grace and brought about great change for many... watching how folks deal with things is good, to see that some still deal well no matter what their lot in life is good, to see there are some folks who have better things to do than just attack others and blame everyone else for everything is good. humility is... good. there is GREAT strength in gentleness... and Aggressive folks are often hiding weakness with their growl and noise... afraid you will see the real loser they are inside, so they keep you at bay... Life is difficult, but not that difficult... there are simple lessons...
a few years ago, fulguhm's poem made it into the public eye... but so much is still true...
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.
Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain,
but there in the sandpile at Sunday School.
These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair. Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life--learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work
every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why,
but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and
even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup--they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned
--the biggest word of all--LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.
Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work
or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if we all
--the whole world--had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon
and then lay down with our blankies for a nap.
Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back
where they found them and to clean up their own mess.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are--
when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.--Robert Fulghum
the lines 'Be aware of wonder' and '... LOOK' , oh wow, Awe and Wonderment are the parents of the child inside of each of us... that child inside is what keeps us young, what lets us ENJOY, lets us be creative - the adult/parent would say NO to everything, but the kid inside says 'sure u can fly, we can dance, we can BE.' don't let the child inside of you die... and that goes for you Steve, as you walk around outside - ignoring customers sure, but LOOKing at the world, the clouds, the wonderment... and Louis, as you grow from the caterpillar to the butterfly. even on south Beverly there are NICE folks who you can learn from, who are not just out to 'get somewhere', who use the phrase 'do you know who i am?', but you have some worth.
conditioning, yup, and YOU and I can help condition those who come after us, set a good example, show how to live with grace, dignity and some class... manage whatever cards you have been dealt well...
dr. g.
