Our Journey called LIFE

Finding about ourselves is a difficult journey, but wonderful in its own... I’m sure you've heard the phrase psychological writers, 12 steppers et al toss about, “the journey to self”... It fits for me soooo much... Our journey, our life.... In an earlier posting I shared with you about my partner Ross dying in 1993. When Ross died, and he didn’t pass on, go to sleep, he died and passed over into whatever that is after we die, I turned to him, and looked at him that 4:44 am, January 28th, 1993, and I realized he was now dead on our bed. His body was cooling off, I saw the life was going out of him... He was slumped over, his journey was done... Our journey together as we knew it was over. I actually said out loud, “This is the end of Ross Stewart Thayer, and the end of Jim and Ross”, at least as it had existed. So often when we traveled around the country, that same bed had been where we would place our bags to be packed for the next trip, or journey. It was a convenient place to work with them. When we traveled, we mostly used soft black leather duffles... As we placed them on the bed to pack, they would be limp and slumped ... But as we filled them up for the journey, they took a shape, they had a purpose... almost like a personality.. They had positive feelings about them as we would talk about what we were going to take, and what we might need on the trip. Swimsuits, cameras, maps, daily clothes...

At the end of our trip, we would place those bags back on that bed to unpack. Removing the things from the trip, from that journey. The things that made it a journey from the dirty laundry, to the extra clothes, to the things we had taken to read, to the used airline ticket stubs, and the mementos of the trip we had picked up along the way.

As we unloaded them, the bags would start to sag and slump... and sadly, we realized the journey was over... but we knew the memories we made during the trip, the journey, were still with us, and would be for the rest of our lives.

As Ross slumped in the bed, and his journey on this earth was over, as our lives together ended, he reminded me of the empty duffles, they had served us well, as had his body, but he didn’t need it anymore. And from then on he would be part of my life, and part of me, internally, as a memory, legacy. And his impact on me affects all those who I deal with everyday.

The memories are what we have, the memories are what make our journey worth it. Memories are what make a relationship, a friendship, a LIFE. Pets are a great example, your pet hamster, your cat, and your dog all will have a shorter life span than you, and they will die... But their time with you should give some great memories for you, and they should have a wonderful time with you, playing and enjoying your love and affection. And they too will help you have memories.

Make your journey productive. Leave a legacy, impact those around you, and those who come after you. Too often someone says, ‘If I can just help one person, I’ve done well’, nope... that would be a waste of your talents, spread good things, teach someone to sing, to dance, to enjoy, or even just to look. Awe and wonder is the parent of the child inside of all of us, and the child is what keeps us humming... Use your talent. Make your journey worth it.
dr. g. 2005